5.7.08

Max's novel: Part 1

So, for your entertainment, I've decided to publish a series written by my friends and I once each Saturday in July. So, without further ado, Max's Novel:










It was a cold day in August. Jimmy went to the local market and ordered a philly cheese steak Thickburger. His total was $7.85. He didn’t like the green bell peppers, but other than that it was ok. He bought it from a strange immigrant who called himself Emilio. Emilio asked him if he wanted any stereo equipment. Jimmy had a woofer with a side of CD’s to go. He paid another $200. The strange immigrant vanished in front of his eyes. Later that night, Jimmy went back to his hotel room and saw Emilio watching TV. He was watching Wheel of Fortune, and Regis Philbin usurped Pat Sajak by skewering him on the wheel. The first contestant spun $550. He guessed “T.” To which Regis replied, “Would you like to use a lifeline?” I beamed an equivalent frequency at Jimmy’s TV from my hotel window across the freeway. I changed it to American Gladiators. Emilio was competing on this show, so I knew it was a rerun. But I was wrong. Jimmy looked at Emilio, and he pulled of his skin. It was Mike Tyson. And he proceeded to chase his ear(he has this rare disease where people have strange nicotine-like cravings for ears, but Jimmy left his at GenCon ’05. Mike was crying, begging for an ear. Jimmy called room service and ordered 1432 chicken wings. When the room service lady came up to deliver the grub, Tyson had a snack, and Jimmy had some wings. Jimmy went to the bathroom and took a shower. When he was about to dry his hair, he realized that the hairdryer was also a .50 caliber magnum – a hotel safety device. He took it and fired at Tyson. But Tyson was unharmed. Then Jimmy realized – he was in a Marriott. Mike pulled out The Pearl of Great Price with ‘a bullet hole in it. “You!” Jimmy exclaimed, “taking advantage of free LDS literature! Tyson screamed, “This crap is LDS? Forgive me, Allah!!!” Allah summoned the “ring girl” out of Jimmy’s TV via HBO and she ate Mike Tyson. Then, I came into the room and ate the remainder of Jimmy’s chicken wings.

The moral of the story is – NEVER stay at Mormon hotels. They’re really creepy…

3 comments:

Matt said...

Oh dear. ;) I can't remember, is my part next? And isn't story called something else?

Mercedes said...

Yup, you're up next. And yeah, that's right, it is called something else...but I forgot that. Umm, it was something like James C. Moore III: What the Media Does Not Want You to Know =]

Matt said...

Yeah, it was either that or "James C. Moore III: The Untold Story."